Zoinked!

So they say I always have a "Zoinked" look at my face. If that means I'm just living everything in the NOW, not thinking left, right, front or back, then yes, I am Zoinked!
But I don't want it. See now, I am trying to think what I'm thinking, but these days words just come out! And they seem to be fine. Sometimes funny, somtimes intelligent, sometimes non-sensical, like now!
Nobody can guess that I have stopped feeling. That I am empty from inside. That whatever comes in vanishes and makes me aware of more vaccum and alomost never goes out!
That I KNOW what should be done, bit I'm not convinced about it myself!
That I am letting go, maybe not. I don't know. I can't think.
Its done! I don't have a clue!
--
So its July. 6 Months of my EB Term are gone. Just gone in a second. Another second, and everything will finish. But will I think again? Will I miss these guys? I hope I do!

I don't know if I have grown. I have changed and possibly grown. But WHY am I just saying these days. The ideas say themselves. The mind does the talking. I don't! I want to :-(

Vastness of my existence? Everything an illusion? or is everything just Perfect and I don't recognise it!